Ruin Life Tactics

This will be the first post of a series on what is commonly known as "Ruin Life Tactics". It is a fairly advanced form of trolling and goes well beyond the standard, run-of-the mill trolling techniques that everyone is familiar with. Where normal trolling can generate a limited amount of lulz, RLT expands upon this from starting as a minor aggravation upwards to complete and utter ruination.

RLT can range from prank calls and orders of 100 pizzas all the way to what more or less amounts to the end of any semblance to a normal financial life. This may sound strange, but in actuality much of our life depends on our dependency upon a financial structure, free access to it, and the ability to conduct business- even if we aren't business(wo)men.

Imagine that one day you post a stupid comment on YouTube or twitter, and catch the attention of a troll. There is some ongoing banter back and forth for a bit, and then odd things start to happen. It begins with a barrage of phone calls, then pizzas delivered that you never ordered, and weird spam in your inbox. Then one morning you wake up and find that your Blockbuster account has been closed. You check your mailbox and find that you no longer have those annoying bank statements and credit card bills. Irked at the oddities of the morning you go to your favorite cafe and order a coffee, only to find that your credit card no longer works.

It devolves from here:
You try to call your bank, only to discover you no longer have an account with your mobile phone carrier. Frantic, you drive to the bank and discover that your life savings has literally disappeared in the night. You are surprised to find that the last charge on your credit card was to a florist. You phone the police from the bank payphone, and the detective tells you he'll "Look into it." You give him your home number and hang up.

You go to work late and your boss is pissed about that threatening email you don't remember sending him. After work you arrive at your house somewhere around 5:30 PM. The lights are off- they won't turn on. The water doesn't seem to work either. You pick up the phone and are relieved to hear a dial tone, but you can't call out. The next morning a florist arrives at your door bearing an enormous bouquet. The card reads "LULZ".

These are Ruin Life Tactics. This is your ruined life. You will never be able to conduct a financial transaction without going through the enormous hassle of verification, questions and suspicion.